News Item

Britney Asked to Leave Costa Rica After her Gas Caused Giant Tidal Wave

SAN JOSE, COSTA RICA – Reports from reliable sources in Costa Rica are that former pop star and sex symbol Britney Spears was unceremoniously kicked out of the country.

Costa Rican president Oscar Arias would neither confirm nor deny those reports, but he did tell SCNN Spears is believed to have caused a tidal wave that resulted in hundreds of injuries and millions of dollars in property damage.

“We have reason to believe that Ms. Spears caused the tidal wave that struck our country last week with her flatulence,” Arias said. “There are multiple witnesses that described her gas as unnaturally strong and excessive.”

Spears spoke to SCNN on the condition that we didn’t mention her failed marriage, poor parenting skills, her botched singing career or her problems with drugs. She explained the entire situation is nothing more than an unfortunate cultural misunderstanding.

“Where I’m from in Louisiana, passing gas is simply a way for women to attract mates,” Spears said. “The girls who have a problem farting on command can buy the scent in a can at any corner store. It’s actually a pretty common thing.”

Arias said that regardless of cultural differences, Spears will face at least a hefty fine if not jail time if she’s found to be the cause of the tidal wave. Spears, though, did not seem to be bothered by that.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first – or last – time I’ll have spent time in jail,” she said. “Besides, causing natural disasters just means you’re doing it right. Men don’t want a woman who passes gas politely.”

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Labels: Britney Spears, Costa Rica, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jamie Spears, Jayden James Federline, Kevin Federline, Mel Gibson, Sean Preston Federline

Posted on May 28th, 2008

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Comments

What total B.S.

And the slogan on this forum… without Celebrities, what would be the point to anything?

Gah. Whatever. Britney, you look fantastic! And healthy!

Hey, google the Onion!

Comment by Emily Sellers on June 1, 2008