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Eminem to Write a Children’s Book

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Eminem has announced that he plans to publish his own children’s book entitled Daddy, Why’s Mama a Dirty Whore? The book will help fathers explain to their children why they have a terrible mother.

“There’s gonna be a page or two about how your mama cheats on your daddy and gave him crabs once, and then about how she steals his money so you can’t take dance classes. I wanna make sure I also touch on how your mama is a crack addict who sometimes sells her loosey goosey for drugs,” Eminem said.

Eminem’s inspiration was My Beautiful Mommy, by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a children’s book which helps mothers talk to their kids about plastic surgery. “I’m thinkin’, yeah kids’ll get freaked when they mama shows up with a new nose. But what if that new nose is ‘cuz she got popped in the face by her coke dealer? Nobody’s focusing on the kids with evil bitches for mamas.”

Eminem certainly has the experience and background for this kind of book. His 1999 debut album, The Slim Shady LP, includes a song called “‘97 Bonnie and Clyde” in which he explains to his daughter Hayley that he’s killed her mother and stuffed her in the trunk of the car. “That wasn’t real, that was fantasy,” Eminem explained, “but for real her mama is a nasty ho, and I never knew how

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Labels: 97 Bonnie and Clyde, Bentley, Dr. Dre, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, Eminem, Heather Locklear, Kim Mathers, Madonna, Marshall Mathers, My Beautiful Mommy, Richie Sambora, Rosie O'Donnell, Slim Shady LP, Whoopi Goldberg

Posted on May 23rd, 2008

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Comments

is this real?

Comment by saw on May 23, 2008
What a brilliant title for a book, lmfao. But come on, is he really gonna do that? He was proberly just pissin about.

‘Now little Sammy, make sure not to take ANY candy mommy gives you, for she’s a dirty crackwhore.’ Hmmm, kids are gonna love that! You could even add pictures!

…Mind you, on the other hand, I guess it could help, it sure would have helped me if I had a book titled ‘Why Daddy’s Hit Your Mommy’s, You and Siblings’. Some kids grow up in the shit, and need to know what’s goin on, why it’s happenin.

Still, I doupt he’ll do it.

Comment by lol on May 24, 2008
He really is doing it. I just talked to my friend at William Morris and it’s a done deal.

Comment by Trott Felipe on May 27, 2008
Amusing. So is his inspiration.

Comment by Dusky78 on May 28, 2008
This faggot candy ass rapper needs to grow up.. I mean even if the book will sell, the only reason it will sell is cuz it’s written by Feminem.. he is only in it for the money. It’s obvious. Im smarter tan this blond dyke and I’m 19 years old. Basically if i would see Em on the streets I’d just break his nose then choke him. =) Matter of fact Marshall would enjoy that…

Comment by B-Ron on May 31, 2008
hey cockboy wanna piece of my ass?

Comment by Ken Keniff on May 31, 2008
Can I get a hell yeah?

“Hell yeah.”

My mom’s a dirty whore!

Comment by Emily Sellers on June 1, 2008
*snicker*

(it’s funny because it’s true, dumm butts ~ Do it em!)

Comment by Emily Sellers on June 1, 2008
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