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Every remaining Bush supporter in the world to attend Jenna Bush’s wedding

One of the guests at Jenna Bush’s wedding

CRAWFORD, TX–Confirming what has been built up by months of speculation, literally every remaining Bush supporter in the world will be attending the Crawford wedding of Jenna Bush and Henry Hager today.

“We wanted to have a small wedding, just about 125 people,” said Jenna Bush recently. “But dad [U.S. President George W. Bush] really wanted to do something nice for all of his supporters. So we decided to invite all of them, and our guest list ballooned to about 200.”

Fortunately for the Bush family, there is enough room at the sprawling, 1500-acre estate to house the additional guests, who are all expected to bring lavish gifts that make strong use of their $600 stimulus checks.

“I figure, since the President has given me so much over the past seven and a half years, it’s the least I can do to give a little back to Jenna and Harry,” said Texas oil magnate J. Richard Howell IV. Howell IV bought Jenna a Tiffany & Co. crystal bowl.

Although there was a lot of consternation about the guest list, the family seemed very pleased in the end.

“It all worked out pretty nicely,” said Laura Bush, the First Lady. “At first, we thought Daddy was being a little presumptuous. After all, does Dick Cheney really need to come to the wedding? The guy does not exactly scream ‘Let’s party,’ if you feel me. But after awhile, we decided, it’s just 75 or so people who are still supporting him. Why fight it? We put some of them sitting next to the videographer.”

The President was very pleased with the outcome.

“It’s a wedding, a celebration,” Bush said. “It’s a day about loyalty, trust, and honor. I am looking forward to spending the day with the 40 or so people who have been true to me over the years, and their dates.”

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Labels: Barbara Bush, Crawford, Dick Cheney, economic stimulus, First Lady, George W. Bush, Henry Hager, Jenna Bush, Jenna Bush wedding, Laura Bush, oil, POTUS, President of the United States, Texas, Vice President, videographer, wedding, wedding list