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Jessica Simpson To Try Out for Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

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DALLAS, TX - With auditions for the 2008-2009 season around the corner, information has leaked that the Cowboy Cheerleaders squad received an application from former singer and television star Jessica Simpson.

Papa Joe Simpson released the following statement immediately after the rumors began flying: “You have to admit, Jess has the perfect body for it. Long, lean legs and a giant rack. Plus her dance background has made her very flexible, which I know because I monitor all her workouts from a closed-circuit video camera.”

With Simpson’s career almost kaput, there had been speculation that her manager-father was trying to find a new means of employment. Jessica has created her own shoe and handbag line, hair weave, and has been a spokeswoman for Chicken of the Sea tuna and Proactiv acne cleansers. None of these business ventures have succeeded long-term, leaving room for Jessica Simpson’s career to slowly collapse into itself like a dying star.

“I thought it was a joke at first,” said a DCC choreographer who preferred to remain nameless. “The application just had her name and phone number, and

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Labels: Ashlee Simpson, Chicken of the Sea, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Ken Paves, Nick Lachey, Papa Joe Simpson, Pete Wentz, Proactiv, Tony Romo

Posted on May 28th, 2008

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