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Katie Holmes Endorses Tom Cruise for President

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - Early this morning Katie Holmes released a statement that names Tom Cruise as her official choice for the 2008 presidential election.

“Tom Cruise is a natural leader. Tom Cruise is a brilliant speaker,” reads part of the statement. “Tom Cruise has solutions for the war in Iraq, post-partum depression, making a scene on Oprah, and Tom Cruise will appoint Xenu as Secretary of Defense. Tom Cruise-Tom Cruise-Tom Cruise-”

Cruise called a press conference and, with his wife by his side, said, “I am so thrilled that Katie thinks I could be president. I would love to run but I am just too busy with my film career and my Scientology work. I love you Kate!” He then ushered Miss Holmes offstage, mumbling about “changing her batteries.”

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Labels: 2008 Presidential Election, Katie Holmes, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Xenu

Posted on May 15th, 2008

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