News Item

Kevin Federline Wants Everyone to Know He’s Still Alive

Dear SCNN readers,

Sup. This K-Fed here, just wantin’ to remind y’all that I’ms not goin’ no wheres. Everybody be lookin’ at Britney this an’ Britney that, and she’s getting better, for sho. But maybe it’s time to come back around to the Federline Fever. I’m still a bad boy! Whaaat! Ya hurrrd! Shoot, I be smokin’ dope and yesterday I lost my daughter Kori at Disneyland. I’m crazy y’all!

Everybody be talkin’ bout how I’m the responsible parent. But I ain’t! I be drinking forties at breakfast! My kids call they nanny ‘Daddy’ cuz they see her more than they see me. I can’t make no money when everybody thinks I’m this normal dad who looks after all my kids. Sean Preston and Jayden James, [expletive deleted] - I can’t even tell their asses apart. And my other kids? Well Kori still at Disneyland for all I know. They mama took the other two a while ago. I’m too crazy for my kids, y’all

I can crash a car. You want me to crash a car? I’ll go to rehab. {Expletive deleted], I already done shaved my damn head. What do you peeps want from me? Britney ain’t nearly as messed up as me. Come camp out in front of my house and I will give you a show. Pay me for the pics, you won’t be disappointed. For real. Hit me baby one more time.

In conclusion, media and people: check me out. Give me cash. I’m straight cheesin’ and I’ll rob a liquor store if I have to, but I needs me some bad press. Holler back.

Popozao!

K-Fed

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Labels: Britney Spears, Disneyland, Hit me Baby One More Time, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jamie Spears, Jayden James, K-Fed, Kevin Federline, Sean Preston, Shar Jackson

Posted on May 30th, 2008

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Comments

I’m sure Britney is a better parent, Kevin, luckily for you, you fleeced her. I don’t think you need to worry about making money. Do you need attention or something?

Maybe she’ll get full custody. B-tard.

Oh yeah, of course she’s getting better now that she’s away from you. Who do you think hurt her? Not Justin Timberlake, YOU.

You screwed up her head, dude. So don’t go around acting like you’re a celebrity.

You can’t RAP.

Comment by Emily Sellers on June 1, 2008