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Kirsten Dunst is a Vampire

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LOS ANGELES, CA - While in rehab recently, Kristen Dunst revealed that she is, as was long-suspected, a vampire. The actress who fittingly rose to fame as temptress Claudia in 1994’s “Interview With A Vampire” confirmed to a staff member at Le Cirque Lodge that the role was not really a stretch.

“You’ve seen the pointy teeth and her pale skin,” said Harvey Lumburg, president of the Kiki D Fan Club. “She was just too perfect in that vampire movie, and she hasn’t been that great in anything else. I reasoned that she must actually have experience being a vampire. She certainly didn’t have experience being a superhero’s girlfriend before she did ‘Spider Man,’ because she kind of sucked as Mary Jane.”

Kirsten’s manager had this to say: “I had no idea, but it makes sense. She hates garlic and the sun. Plus this one time she tried to bite my neck open

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Labels: Brad Pitt, Gay, Interview With A Vampire, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kabbalah, Kirsten Dunst, Le Cirque, New York Times, Tom Cruise

Posted on May 28th, 2008

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