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Oprah’s Favorite Thing: Having More Power Than God

Oprah Loves Being more Powerful Than God

CHICAGO, IL - Following Oprah’s summer edition of “Favorite Things,” an anonymous source close to Oprah tells SCNN that Oprah really just loves being “more powerful than God.”

The Oprah’s “Favorite Things” episode airs every December, and this year a special summer edition was filmed in early May. Oprah lists a number of items she loves, from pricey gagdets to $15 H&M bikinis. Every studio audience member receives each of the items on Oprah’s list. One year, Oprah literally gave everyone in the audience a new car.

“I’m baffled that people really believe these are her favorite things,” said the SCNN source. “One week before she tapes the Favorite Things episode, her assistants comb through thousands of products that are vying for a spot on her list. They narrow it down, and then show her the final chosen few. Oprah loves reading the list and then joking about how she really likes being richer than everybody and having more influence than God. She calls her fans her ‘disciples.’”

An ex-”Oprah Show” intern told SCNN, “one year as a joke someone put gold buttplugs on the list. When Oprah saw that she immediately had the person fired, saying she could ’smite’ her if she really wanted, and that nobody made a fool of Oprah without summoning the wrath of the Almighty Oprah herself.”

“It’s true,” confirmed the anonymous source. “She has a painting in her office of the famous God reaching out to Adam section of the Sistine Chapel, only it’s her face over God’s.”

~~God~~ Oprah was not available for comment.

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Labels: Adam, Cars, God, H&M, Michelangelo, Oprah Winfrey, Oprah's favorite things, Sistine Chapel, Summer

Posted on May 23rd, 2008

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	Oprah is greater than God.
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	Oprah and God play bridge together on the weekends.

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Oprah’s Favorite Thing: Having More Power Than God

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