News Item

Real life Gossip Girl just ends up having everyone hate her

MANNHASSET, N.Y. — When Manhasset High’s Monica Martinez first saw Gossip Girl on the CW, she knew what she had to do.

“I realized at that moment that I had to become the ‘Gossip Girl’ for my high school,” Martinez said. “It was perfect — I would report everyone’s gossip and secrets, and everyone would love me!”

However, real life has not been as kind to Martinez, 16, as it has been to the Gossip Girl who reports on the day-to-day adventures of the Constance Billard School for Girls crowd in the novels by Cecily von Ziegesar and the wildly successful television spinoff.

“I don’t really like Monica’s blog,” said Sasha Davidson, 15. “She told the whole school the other day that I farted in Physics. And the day before that, her big ‘Tip of the Day’ was that we were gonna get new math books. I mean, who really gives a crap? And here’s the worst thing — it wasn’t even true.”

Monica says she’s committed to making the blog work, even in the face of the skepticism.

“The first time that she reported about Blair Waldorf’s sex life, or Dan Humphrey and Jenna Humphrey’s class-based struggle for acceptance, I am sure that Gossip Girl wasn’t their favorite person in the world,” Martinez said. “I’m sure Serena van der Woodsen wasn’t exactly loving seeing her name in print that first time she slept with Nate Archibald. But you know what? She kept at it, kept reporting, and their lives kept being so freaking interesting and compelling that they were able to make a hit television series out of it. That’s all I want ot of this, is a hit TV show.”

Not everyone thinks that Martinez is going to be successful.

“I hate Monica, I hate her blog, and I hate her ugliness,” said James Yonken, a senior at Manhasset. “She asked me to a dance a couple of years ago, and I said no, because she’s fat and I had a girlfriend at the time. So she did a three-part ‘expose’ about me having acne. Guess what, I was 16. Half the school had acne.”

Spotted: 16-year-old girl at Manhasset High with no friends, a shitty blog, and a big ass. XOXO.

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Labels: 16 year old girl, Blair Waldorf, cecily von ziegesar, CW, Dan Humphrey, Gossip Girl, Jenny Humphrey, Manhasset, Monica Martinez, nate archibald, Serena van der Woodsen, Sex, sex life, spinoff, television series, The CW, ugliness, XOXO