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Ryan Seacrest to Run for Mayor

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - Ryan Seacrest has announced that he will run for mayor of West Hollywood in the next election.

“He is a shoo-in,” said an SCNN source close to Seacrest. “He hosts ‘American Idol,’ has his own radio show, and may replace Larry King when King retires. Not even Schwarzenegger had that kind of resume prior to running for governor.”

Seacrest, a dapper blond who has been linked to “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher, has already begun working on his political causes.

“He wants to start a program that will provide free dental whitening to residents,” said the source. “He also plans to remove all handicapped parking spots and replace them with Gay Parking, because there are no handicapped people in West Hollywood, but there are a lot of gays.”

In addition to the gay vote, the source said Seacrest hopes to get the celebrity vote by instating several laws to protect their privacy. “He wants to ban papparazzi from anywhere north of Sunset, because that’s where all the really rich ones live. And he’ll give clubs special permits so they can build entirely private areas so no one will see the stars going in and coming out - finally they’ll be able to do drugs and hump on each other without pictures being splashed across the tabloids.”

Seacrests’ biggest secret weapon? The Kardashian family, because he produces the witty and highly acclaimed “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” “Kim is going to get a ‘Vote 4 Ryan’ tattoo on her butt just in time for her new porn video,” said our source. “That’s really going to seal his win.”

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Labels: "Desperate Housewives", "Keeping up with the Kardashians", American Idol, Clubs, Drugs, Governer, Kim Kardashian, Larry King, Mayor, Ryan Seacrest, Schwarzenegger, Teeth Whitening, Teri Hatcher, West Hollywood

Posted on May 16th, 2008

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Comments

They Promised The Moon, The Stars, And Heaven Above. And just like Charlie Brown I got a rock.

As a songwriter who’s parents were songwriters, like them I write because I love it. It’s never been about the money. But when the NUMBER ONE SHOW ON TELEVISION says they’re looking for some amateur to write the Next Great American Idol Finale Song. Wow! The first thing that crossed my mind was…..MILLIONS! Millions of people. Millions of cd’s. Millions of dollars. Millions. I’m betting I’m not the only one…….of Millions.

It’s Time For Some Answers!
This is the second year in a row that American Idol has had a songwriting contest. Since the contest ended last year I’ve researched the contestants from last year and this year….FYI there were over 25,000 entries last year at $10.00 for each song. 20 songs were then chosen out of the 25,000 for an online vote. The winner’s song is then performed on the American Idol Finale. The problem I have is that one of THIS years Top 20 Songwriting Finalist is a Co-writer of LAST years Top 20 Songwriting Winner. Somebody from American Idol has some explaining to do.

If you want proof of fraud.
http://americanidolexposed.weebly.com
There’s a lot more.

By the way….Why aren’t you reporting this?

Comment by Simon Says on May 17, 2008

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