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Special Report: Food Crisis “Not Really a Big Deal” for Hollywood
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Responding to reports of a global shortage in food supplies, sources in the entertainment industry say they don’t believe it will affect celebrities.
“Rice shortage?” said talent manager Gordon Tresko, “No one in Hollywood has eaten carbs since the Clinton administration.”
Added another source, who preferred to stay anonymous, “The real fear is a decline in resources for hair waxing. If that happens, 85% of celebrities will refuse to come out of their home. A lot of these women have mustaches and hairy arms, just as the men have unibrows and enough chest hair to make sweaters. I shudder to think about the future of Pop Culture if we lose all the hair wax.”
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Labels: Bill Clinton, Breast Implants, Carbs, Celebrities, Chest Hair, Clinton Administration, Food Crisis, Hair Wax, Hollywood, Mike Tyson, Mustaches, Rice, Special Report, Unibrows
Posted on May 10th, 2008
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