News Item

The American Idol Winner is…LOLcat

Pages: 1 2

LOS ANGELES, CA - The votes have been tallied, the results are final, and in a shocking twist, this year’s American Idol is LOLcat.

“I r sooo thrild,” said LOL. “Wants to tank mah voyce coach an’ mah momz.”

The 20-pound gray cat beat out contest favorites David Cook and David Archuleta for the coveted record deal with 19 Entertainment. On last night’s finale, LOL sang heart-wrenching renditions of “Ah lookz fuh luv in all teh wong placez” and “Haz n-e-body seen LOLrus’s bukkit?” America responded by sending in more than 40 million votes, the highest record in American Idol history.

“Of course I’m disappointed,” said runner-up David Cook, “but if I had to lose, at least it was to LOL. He has amazing talent and I’m excited to see what he does next.”

David Archuleta’s father spoke for his son, who was apparently too overcome with emotion to give his own statement. “My David was the best this season. America made a huge mistake giving him third place. We’re going to be rich and famous, OK? No matter what you MORONS say. David has the voice of a million angels crying tears of pearl, and clearly NONE of you GET IT. GODDAMN I HATE AMERICA! GODDAMN! THIS IS NOT THE LAST OF ME!” Mr. Archuleta then suffered a coronary and was rushed to

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our free RSS feed and get hilarious celebrity news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Pages: 1 2

Labels: 19 Entertainment, American Idol, Archuleta's dad, Bukkit, Cedars-Sinai, Clay Aiken, Coca-Cola, David Archuleta, David Cook, I can has cheezburger, LOLcat, LOLrus, London, Morons, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Sanjaya, Simon Cowell