News Item

Victoria Beckham Mistaken for Blow-Up Doll

KYLE, TX – A local man was arrested for kidnapping Victoria Beckham late Friday night at Adult Video Megaplex on I-35, police have told SCNN.

Bo Gillespie, 28, was taken into custody and spent the night in jail before posting bond early Saturday morning. Gillespie’s lawyer, Gary Calhoun, said the situation is nothing more than an embarrassing misunderstanding.

“First off, my client would like everyone to know that he normally has no problem picking up ladies,” Calhoun said. “But last night he was looking for a blow-up doll to, you know, do his thing. He saw Mrs. Beckham standing in the doll section and could not tell the difference. He thought she was an open box value.”

According to the stores clerk, Gillespie walked up to Beckham and poked at her for a couple of seconds before picking her up and bringing her to the counter.

“He asked me how much she cost and I said $39.99,” the clerk said. “He talked me down to $5, though, and walked out of the store with her. In all fairness to the guy, she did look completely lifeless.”

Police found Gillespie in the store’s parking lot a few minutes later. According to Calhoun, Gillespie was attempting to deflate Beckham in the back seat of his car when cops arrived on the scene.

Beckham was unavailable for comment, but her spokesman said it is normal for Victoria to stand lifelessly in the blow-up doll section of adult stores.

Calhoun said that he is confident everything will be cleared up soon enough and his client will be acquitted of all charges.

“Who hasn’t been in a similar situation?” he said. “If we’re going to start locking up everyone who confuses Victoria Beckham for a blow-up doll, well then we better start building a lot more prisons.”