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Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson to Star in Special USO Show

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a similar tactic in the caves of Afghanistan to see if Bin Laden is still in there somewhere.”

Political analyst Remington Logan told SCNN, “the plan is genius. Both Britney and Jessica are desperate for money and are terrible singers. Bush’s move could gain enough popularity to ensure McCain the win in the 2008 presidential election.”

The show’s lineup will be Spears and Simpson each taking turns butchering their most popular songs without the aid of digital voice enhancement. Then the show’s finale will see the duo perform a rousing and likely eardrum-splitting rendition of the “Star-Spangled Banner.”

“If that doesn’t make them Eye-rackees surrender, I’m plumb out of ideas. Let’s go fix us a mess o’ barbecue,” President Bush was overheard saying to Vice President Cheney.

By noon today there was still no sign of Britney, who reportedly held the plane up an extra 45 minutes because she couldn’t find flamin’-hot Cheetos at the airport concession stands.

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Labels: Britney Spears, Country, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Iraq, Jamie Spears, Jessica Simpson, Osama Bin-Laden, Papa Joe Simpson, Star-Spangled Banner, Tony Romo

Posted on June 16th, 2008

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