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Pop Culture Mess: Give it a Go

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SCNN has the pleasure of publishing installments from Fisherking’s memoirs. The elusive writer will be updating us on his quest for the Greatest Story Ever Written. To learn more, visit www.popculturemess.blogspot.com

“By the end of the third or fourth day all the meat had rotted, leaving the room awash in an aroma reminiscent of a Khmer Rouge killing field, and leaving us with only our own bodies with which to satiate our hungers. Oh, the energies we expelled. The sweat! Late that afternoon a pig, probably having escaped from the farm down the road, wandered into the yard. Ashley, half-crazed and hollow-eyed, managed to work her tiny frame through a window above the kitchen sink and ambushed the swine from above, smothering it with her vintage poncho that had hosted her in their deflowering.”

“Who wants punch?” K-Ro asked as he walked into the study carrying a refreshment tray. Upon seeing K-Ro enter the room, Tiger Woods leapt to his feet and quickly moved to the restroom, without excusing himself.

“What did I say?” K-Ro asked, sounding hurt.

“Who knows,” I said, “I was just regaling him with a recount of the retreat I took with the twins »”>Olsen twins in celebration of their eighteenth birthday.”

Tiger returned looking so pale that I mistook him at first for a very tall Jet Li.

“Tiger, are you okay bro?” I asked.

“Just, um, a bug or something,” he said, sounding unsure. I turned to K-Ro and nodded. He nodded back and quickly exited the study, only to return a moment later carrying a dozen plaster recreations of cuddly, white baby seals, which he lined up neatly across the floor in front of us. Tiger looked on

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Labels: Baby Seal Clubbing, Danica Patrick, Jet Li, Karl Rove, Khmer Rouge, Michael Vick, Pop Culture Mess, Tiger Woods

Posted on June 12th, 2008

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