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Pop Culture Mess: Sports Wrap-up

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realized. “Damn,” I said to myself, “Time to change my number again.” I deleted the first couple of messages, but stopped on the third, hearing a male voice.

“Wow, sir, I can’t tell you what an honor this is! My name’s Pete Carroll and I coach the football team here at USC, uh, that’s the University of Southern California, and my friend Will Ferrell gave me your number and said you’d be in town. I can’t begin to tell you what an honor this is! Anyhoo, I was wondering if you’d do me the honor of giving the pre-game speech to my team this afternoon. I don’t know, these kids seem to have lost focus a little and I can’t think of anyone better to re-instill the winning attitude than you, sir.”

Of course I would do it. There is nothing more rewarding in life than helping youngsters down the right path, and few things help people, both young and old, more than hearing me speak. I would have to put my original reason for being in the City of Angels, the Michael Vick story, on hold for awhile. I’m sure you’re familiar with the Vick story of which I’m referring; that is the grand opening of Tasty Pit, the new Korean barbecue restaurant co-owned by Vick and the rapper DMX.

I called my new agent, Karl Rove (who I was able to lure away from his previous job with promises of unlimited power and intellectual stimulation), and told him to

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Labels: Arabic, DMX, Jessica Biel, Karl Rove, LAX, Martha Stewart, Michael Vick, Middle East, Peter Carroll, Pop Culture Mess, Snoop Dogg, Trojans, USC, Will Ferrell