Breaking News: Jennifer Lopez Stepped in Dog Doo

LAS VEGAS, NV- Cher has been adjusting to her new life in Las Vegas wonderfully, according to the operator at the box office at the entrance to her show at Caesars Palace.�

�Cher has been doing great,� the ticket taker, who wished to remain anonymous, said. �I have not been able to see the show but she always leaves the stage with a smile�and a young teenage boy who has been dragged to the show by his mother.��

Cher tickets have been a huge hit at her new show, Cher at the Colosseum. Sources close to the famed actress and singer have stated that her brief relationship with 38-year-old Tim Medvetz was the first step into exploring how young she could vicariously feel.�

The performer was inspired by the racy costumes designed by Bob Mackie specifically of the Las Vegas showcase and the reminiscence of her career.�

�I look back on my life and remember when I was 16 and awkward and how a music producer took advantage of me,� Cher said. �I simply want to give everyone the same chance I had.��

The gay icons actions are not without controversy. The voices of concern are not coming from the mothers though, they seem to enjoy the time to themselves at the bar to pick up random men, fully set on taking advantage of the �What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas� promise.�

�I came here for a week without my husband, but had to bring my son,� an anonymous mother said. �With airfare as much as it is I fully intend on taking advantage of what Las Vegas, you know, escapism, random sex, otherwise I will report the tourism department for false advertising.��

The voice of concern is rather coming from her large homo-sexual following.�

�We want to get the full Cher experience, but are not able to, instead these barely pubescent boys are getting more out of than we are,� Lance Johnson, president of the National Gay Tourism Board, said. �They do not even know her songs or truly appreciate her amazing albums likes, like Believe.��

The board reports that while the rotating stage offers other gay icons like Bette Midler and Elton John, Bette Midler is more like an aunt and Elton John is in a committed relationship.�

�The board is still happy to recommend the Cher show,� Johnson said. �They are much cheaper than Madonna tickets and Cher does not seem nearly as attention starved.��